Virtual Sex League

Ok, here is a totally ridiculous and silly thing to make you giggle. The Virtual Orgasm Simulator!

Every once in a while it’s necessary to point out the HUGE FUCKING GAP between the sexes. Now is one of those times.

Thank god for my vibrator. Sometimes I think my vibrator is the only one who really understands me.

It may surprise you men that most women in relationships masturbate regularly. It’s true. It’s not that we don’t love gettin’ it on with you, but we are better at making the earth move ourselves than you are, most of the time.

If that makes you uncomfortable may I suggest you get on the ball and do whatever it takes to make us scream your name in bed.

Talk to us about it, both over dinner and when we’re in the moment. Don’t be afraid to use toys. If you feel threatened by the vibrator, make that vibrator your bitch by using it on us! And really, are you gonna let a vibrator intimidate you? It’s not even sentient.

And for god’s sake, be appreciative. An unappreciated woman can turn into a snarling banshee faster than you can say “please pass the remote.”

And don’t let women lie to you either. The reason we wear sexy shit is for you. The reason we put on lipstick, suck on breath mints and lollypops, go to the gym, and shave is for your benefit. Most women will practically do flips to be attractive to you and get your ass off. If you don’t believe me, look at any women’s magazine. Hell, go to a bookstore. There are entire sections full of books full of advice on how to lure and entertain men, covering everything from putting on a garter belt successfully to how to swallow sperm without grimacing.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not selfless or anything. We know that having your attention and being attractive to you is how we get affection in the form of sex, massages, listening, going out and doing fun stuff, etc. Its totally selfish, but we do it for you. If you want us to continue putting forth the effort, I suggest you get your act together before the manbots come out on the market. Manbots don’t care if we shave.

If we humans are going to have any sexual use for each other in the long run we are going to have to prove that we have something the robots can’t offer. And a pulse might not be enough.

The title of this video- リアル女性ロボット means “real female robot” in Japanese according to Google Translate. ;^)

It shows a man testing a fembot’s recognition of humans and reactions to touch in a lab somewhere. She seems a little put out if you ask me. Is this the super-duper-21st-century invention we have all been waiting for??? Really??? A cranky, put-out fembot?

Well, I suppose I should be happy that it’s not a disturbingly underage-looking sexbot, like these popular Japanese sex dolls: